What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What does it mean to live "the 'underconsumption' life"?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Discovery of 100-million-year-old dinosaur eggs reveals life in Jurassic America - Earth.com

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Walkoff caps ‘unreal 24 hours’ for Mariners’ Cole Young - Seattle Sports

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Column | Phil Mickelson’s legacy: Helping pro golfers and diminishing pro golf - The Washington Post

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

New Study Finds No Evidence of Tension in Hubble Constant - Sci.News

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do flat-earthers claim the 1967 photo of Earth from space was made with CGI, even though CGI didn't exist back then?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why does monistat lose effectiveness over time for individuals with chronic or recurrent vaginosis or yeast infections?

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How come I can't stay sober?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sorry, Trump supporters, but eventually it will have to be asked: Why didn't Trump do as well in his first term as he is doing NOW?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...